Spoils of War: a fantasy TBS Games Retrospective

Back in the fall of 1995, a game caught my eye at my local PC store and after being seduced by the (very colourful) back of the box, I had to have it. That game was Heroes of Might and Magic, a game that consumed countless hours of my early twenties, a time when I should have been out either getting laid or getting a career. Instead I was gleefully stomping around the world of Enroth with Kastore and Yog and all the other Heroes, pretending to be bad-ass. Nerd Power!

Around the same time I also discovered Warlords II Deluxe, a game with similar gameplay and setting but very different execution than Heroes. The game maps in Warlords weren't as busy as those in Heroes but there were more cities and more armies and there were ruins. Oh how I loved sending my hero into ruins and hoping madly that he wouldn't die at the hands of some Troll, Spectre or worst of all, Dragon.

Between the Heroes and Warlords series those years were a full, rich oyster of fantasy gaming goodness. Oddly though, both game series had a surprising flaw. The combat was terrible. Searching ruins, collecting loot, and crushing enemies was great, but the actual moments of combat were tremedously boring. Often it seemed to devolve more into a game of luck than real strategy.

Then 1999 happened, and the game Disciples: Sacred Lands came along and resurrected the fun. The combat in Disciples was (and still is) the best comabt in a turn-based strategy game, ever. Instead of the uncontrollable randomness of Warlords or the tedious epic battles of Heroes, Disciples pitted a small squads of single units against each other in a brilliant chess-like mini-game where every choice could lead to death or victory.

I remember wishing that someone would combine my favorite elements of these three game series together. The very idea gives me chills. Imgagine a game with the colourful, loot-filled, map-stomping heroes of Heroes of Might and Magic. Now add the fast production, ruins, allies and cowboy diplomacy of Warlords. Stir in a generous helping of the combat from Disciples and bake until perfect.

I might never leave my house again.
_____

Previous Post: Ginger Snaps

Ginger Snaps

Holy cow, An actual post!

In the time since my last post, so much has happened. My uncle Albert Harris passed away from cancer. He was 59. My mother spent five weeks in the hospital with a kidney infection that led to septicemia. They're hopeful about her recovery. My boss who was supposed to leave for Poland, hasn't. She's got a lump in her throat which they'll be doing a biopsy on shortly.

Life has not gone according to plan.

In other news, soon after I shot my video of Frodo, I got some great footage of my friend's bulldog, Ginger. Well I've finally assembled it and am posting it here for your viewing pleasure.



Enjoy!
_____

Next Post: Spoils of War - a fantasy TBS Games Retrospective

Previous Post: Irony, Thy Name is Silence?

Irony, Thy Name Is Silence?

Oddly, the less frequently I post, the more visitors I get every week. I have no idea why. Also my page views have skyrocketed. The less I say, the more you read. Bizzarre.

I'm thinking with my new full-time job and my new hobby (see the post What I Really Want To Do Is Direct) I really should change this blog to a "once a week" footing. Daily is out of reach right now.

I'll try to post one humour story a week, most likely on Friday or early Monday morning. More videos will also be coming down the pipe, but they'll be a bonus on top of my weekly humour post.

So, here's what's new...

HOMEMADE VIDEO BLOG ENTRY!

What I Really Want To Do Is Direct
This post will be of a video I shot today. I just got a lovely Panasonic GS80 Mini DV Camcorder and I thought that 'Frodo', my 10-year old english bull terrier would be the perfect first subject. (more...)


Btw, my posting was so erratic in August that I'm going to combine it with September for choosing the next "Post of the Month". It seems kind of silly to vote for "Post of the Month" when the month only has FIVE posts.

We Have a Winner!
"The Worst Smell Ever" has been voted, by you the readers, to be July's Post of the Month. Thanks to those who voted! (more...)


This Just In
"The Most Fascinating Thing I've Heard This Century"

Theoretical physicist and 2057 host Michio Kaku speculates on the future of civilization.

Quote - "The generation now alive, and our grandchildren, are the most important generations ever to walk the surface of the earth."(more...)



Don't miss these classic posts!

My personal favorite post:
Hot Coffee At Twenty Below

Reader's Favorite post for April:
Adventures In Cuba: People Are Funny When They're On Vacation

Reader's Favorite post for May:
The Top Five Fuhringer Family Fishing Trip Disasters

Reader's Favorite Post for June:
Sorry Buddy

The most read "This Just In" post:
Videos of Water Flash Freezing


Thanks! - T. D. Fuhringer

What I Really Want To Do Is Direct

This post will be of a video I shot today. I just got a lovely Panasonic GS80 Mini DV Camcorder and I thought that 'Frodo', my 10-year old english bull terrier would be the perfect first subject.

I had to put it on YouTube since the blogger.com software keeps failing to upload the video. -sigh- (It looks WAY better in it's original full resolution)



Please enjoy the video and let me know what you think. Thanks!

Previous Post: At Least I Didn't Burn the Place Down

At Least I Didn't Burn the Place Down

So I survived my first day as Day Manager of Gino's Pizza. The young lady I wrote about earlier now has a healthy new baby boy named Aidan. The other young lady who worked for us also now has a beautiful baby girl named Madeleine. So one of the reasons I got to be Day Manager is because we lost two employees to pregnancy. Yay Babies!

The other reason is because the owner wants to semi-retire. Yay semi-retirement!

As I write this my feet are throbbing. (My old position as driver involved a tremendous amount of sitting.) This new position requires that I be constantly on my feet pretty much the whole day. My poor feet asked my why I am doing this to them and I had to remind them that now, a single weeks' wages will pay off my entire MasterCard balance at once. Yay more pay!

It's going pretty well. I haven't burned the place down, yet. My mistakes have been recoverable. I'm learning all the duties (many of which can't be explained, every day at a pizza shop has very different needs). Outgoing school orders, incoming food shipments, drink shipments, cheques to be written, customers to be served, pizza to be made, toppings to be prepared, dough to be prepared... the list is endless.

Once I'm up to speed the owner will be heading off to Poland for several months, and I'll be alone during the first two-thirds of my shift each day. That will be sweet. It's lot's of work, but with no one around to mess things up on me or give me a hard time, the stress level is very low.

Anyway I'll keep you all posted and I'll try to get back to 'the funny' as soon as possible.

Right now my feet have stolen my sense of humour.

-----
Previous Story: Privacy? What's That?
-----

Privacy? What's That?

During the same trip where my cousins and I almost had a close encounter with a bear, a few other things happened that are worth telling. Bear with me. (Terrible, I know.)

FYI: My grandparents regularly called all the small children in our family "édes" (pronounced 'ay-desh'). It means "sweet" in Hungarian. You need to know this. There will be a quiz later.

My grandparents lived in an old farmhouse made of granite. What can I say? It was Ontario and the builders used the materials they had on hand. For the record a stone house is really cool and comfortable in the summer but in the winter, without a woodstove, you can forget about having running water in your pipes. The foundation and basement were stone too. In fact, the basement, with it's cold dark stone, cobwebs, bad lighting and sump pump hole was pretty much a horror filmmaker's dream. I'd love to go back there with a camera and make one of those low-budget, creepy "There's Something in the Basement" summer slasher flicks.

But that's not the best part. The only way to get to the basement was through the bathroom.

I'll give you a moment to wrap your head around that concept.

To get to the stairs leading to the basement, you had to go through the bathroom and walk past the sink and toilet. It was like having an awesome secret passage in the bathroom. Only it wasn't a secret and it was actually incredibly inconvenient.

It wouldn't have been so bad if my grandparents weren't European peasants with no concept of privacy. I'm not sure there even is a word in Hungarian for 'private'. If there is, no one in my family ever used it. Why would you want to be alone? Are you doing something you're not supposed to? Then why not do it with family around? Why be hiding? So you're naked in the tub? We changed your diaper when you were a baby, we've seen you naked, it's not that exciting. Privacy? What's that?

So one time, my cousin Leilani went to the bathroom. She's sitting on the can with her panties around her ankles (we know this because she told us, we weren't actually IN the room... ok we were right outside snickering and hooting) minding her own business. James and I were watching from the dining room in fascinated horror as Grandpa shuffled over to the bathroom door, opened it, and marched right in without hesitation. He shuffled towards the stairs while Leilani covered herself with her arms and tried desperately to pretend she wasn't there.

As Grandpa got to the top of the stairs to go down, he turned, looked directly at her and with a friendly wave said, "Hi édes!" and then went downstairs.

After several minutes, Leilani came out of the bathroom. Her eyes were as big as dinner plates and her mouth was turned down in the most pathetic frown a little girl has ever worn. She hung her head.

Of course, we howled at her unmercifully.

After that, she always went out of her way to the upstairs bathroom. She figured Grandpa wouldn't go in there as often, since it only led to the attic.

-----
Next Story: At Least I Didn't Burn the Place Down

Previous Story: What Are the Odds?
-----