Wednesday, April 18, 2007

What Are You, Pregnant?

I work with a young lady at Gino's Pizza who is quite pregnant. I was cutting the pizzas coming out of the oven and in case you've never done it, standing over a hot pizza straight out of the oven and cutting it is an assault on the senses. Every once in a while a pizza comes out that smells so good, you have to stop and tell everybody to come over and smell it. I'm not kidding, you wouldn't believe how good (or how bad) some pizzas smell when they're 600 degrees.

So I pulled this amazing Bacon Cheeseburger pizza out of the oven. Bacon, Beef and Cheddar all hot and bubbling. As I start cutting, the young lady walks by and I show her the pizza. She starts drooling and moaning and then says, "That would be so awesome with pickles on it."

I said, "What are you, pregnant?"

Apparently the whole schtick about craving pickles and ice cream when you're pregnant is not a myth. She was deadly serious about wanting pickles on that pizza. If the customer hadn't been standing there I think she would have started chowing down right then.

Another time, said young pregnant lady is standing at the back, drinking a coffee and looking like she can't remember what planet she's on or why the hell she's so uncomfortable. So I walk up and ask if she needs anything.

She says, "Do you know how to... like... do the beans? At the place?"

She looks at me like she's just asked God, "What is the Purpose of Life?" for a few seconds until she realizes what she said. Then she turns red and starts giggling.

"Let me make sure I have this right." I said. "Do I know how." More giggles. "To like do the beans." Laughter. "At the place." Outright howling.

"Stop or I'll pee!" she cried. I didn't stop.

Apparently when you're pregnant it becomes harder to control your bladder. This was new to me, but it made sense when I thought about it. Lesson learned.

Oh yeah, for the record. I do know how to, like... do the beans, at the place.
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Ruby said...

OK so how do you, like... do the beans, at the place.

By the way think about it. Young pregnant lady has at least 20 pounds leaning on her bladder. You'd have to pee too.

T. D. Fuhringer said...

If I explain what she meant, it won't be as funny. ;p

Ruby said...

Remember, I'm an augmented blonde and sometimes need things explained to me (i.e., jokes).

Paule said...

(Coffee) beans - Da Place - Tim Hortons, Starbucks, Second Cup, Fortinos' coffee shop.

coach said...

That pizza does smell good - can I get extra pizza on mine.

My wife craved sushi when she was pregnant.